Cristine's Once Upon a Time

Finding Health and Happiness One Step at a Time

  • 24th April
    2014
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  • 21st April
    2014
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  • 20th April
    2014
  • 20
Baby carrier win!  She loved it and fell right asleep.  One month old today.

Baby carrier win! She loved it and fell right asleep. One month old today.

  • 18th April
    2014
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  • 9th April
    2014
  • 09
I’m alive!  Just so busy feeding this little one at all hours of the day and sleeping in two hour bursts.  It’s been a serious transition and I won’t lie there have been tears.  Ultimately, I know this phase won’t last forever and some day I will truly miss it.  Most of the time I love the us time, but I am feeling sort of cooped up.  And lonely.  It’s not forever, though.  And in all reality, I am truly blessed.  Our little girl will be three weeks old tomorrow (holy crap!!) and she is perfectly healthy.  Yep, too blessed to be stressed.

I’m alive! Just so busy feeding this little one at all hours of the day and sleeping in two hour bursts. It’s been a serious transition and I won’t lie there have been tears. Ultimately, I know this phase won’t last forever and some day I will truly miss it. Most of the time I love the us time, but I am feeling sort of cooped up. And lonely. It’s not forever, though. And in all reality, I am truly blessed. Our little girl will be three weeks old tomorrow (holy crap!!) and she is perfectly healthy. Yep, too blessed to be stressed.

  • 27th March
    2014
  • 27
Being a Mommy is wonderful.  Tiring, but wonderful.  Sheila is 6 days old and it feels like time has both flown and crawled by.  One thing it’s for sure…  everything they say about falling in love and becoming a parent changing your life is completely true.

Being a Mommy is wonderful. Tiring, but wonderful. Sheila is 6 days old and it feels like time has both flown and crawled by. One thing it’s for sure… everything they say about falling in love and becoming a parent changing your life is completely true.

  • 25th March
    2014
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  • 21st March
    2014
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  • 18th March
    2014
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I imagine this is what I can look forward to.  I’m trying to get my mind in the game.  Game face!!  T minus 8.5 hours.

I imagine this is what I can look forward to. I’m trying to get my mind in the game. Game face!! T minus 8.5 hours.

  • 17th March
    2014
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I’m going in to the hospital tomorrow. Might have a baby!! She’ll be here by Thursday at the latest. :D God, I never knew I could be so excited and terrified at the same time!!!

  • 17th March
    2014
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  • 17th March
    2014
  • 17

Pregnancy Recap: The Good, Bad and Ugly

I never wrote letters to Baby. Some moms write a letter every day or week documenting how they are feeling, how their body is changing and their love and excitement for their new little bundle. Others journal. Lots of moms blog and do an amazing job keeping a weekly update on everything from new symptoms to embarrassing moments. This is usually accompanied by some fantastic bump pictures showing their swelling bellies week to week.

I was never THAT Mom. I never wrote letters or journaled or blogged successfully. I couldn’t imagine telling my baby, my child that would one day look back on these letters as an adult, that I had projectile vomiting all day and migraines that kept me either in a recliner or in bed for almost two months. I broke out, couldn’t shower and was a stinky, pukey mess until about 16 weeks along. I was ashamed to admit that I simply couldn’t wrap my head around actually being a parent or that there was really a life growing inside of me. Even more ashamed to voice my true concerns; had I made a mistake? Good God, did I really want to be a parent? Was I really ready to give up the independence that comes with child-less living?

Not to mention the fear that accompanies becoming a parent. It’s not something one wants to discuss with their child. I know all too well how hard it is to lose a child. How do I know it won’t happen again? There are no guarantees in pregnancy. Even in birth, no crystal balls. I didn’t want to admit fearing the loss of this child and how it affected my ability to truly appreciate the miracle of life and to begin falling in love with her.

And the fear of labor is real. I often found it difficult to sleep knowing that eventually she would make her way out. There is even fear surrounding the irreversible nature of pregnancy. No matter what, I couldn’t avoid this birth. It was going to take place, whether I was prepared, fearful or not.

Looking back at my pregnancy I can’t help but feel guilty. I know there are things I will forget and probably won’t remember to tell my girl. If only I had done a better job documenting the joys of pregnancy. Switching to maternity pants, belly kisses from my husband who I somehow fall further in love with every day, crying when I heard her heartbeat at the doctors office, seeing her beautiful face on the ultrasound and the days of staring and obsession that ensued afterwards, Skyping my mom and her reaction to a female grand baby. Of course for every joy there were discomforts. Pelvic and hip pain, heart burn, swollen feet, legs and ankles, weight gain, back pain, finicky sinuses, a pissy olfactory and of course the first trimester of nausea that likes to make a guest appearance whenever possible and often most inconvenient.

Parenthood brings about a realization that is impossible without experiencing it. Life, love, children, all require a great deal of self sacrifice. I missed occasions, seasons and lots of fun outings due to pregnancy. Every discomfort was often unavoidable and incurable. Mothers sacrifice dental health, bone health, mental health, shoe size and jean size among other things. And the largest sacrifice, not always guaranteed, but always a possibility is that of my life.

The third trimester really ushers in the realization that baby is coming and yes it’s going to be tough. No. Matter. What. How tough? No one’s knows, but it’s inevitable. All I can hope for is that at the end of this pregnancy I get to hold a healthy little girl in my arms. I know that then the fears, discomforts and sacrifices will be completely worth it and instead of giving her letters or letting her read my blog I can spend every day telling her how much I love her.

  • 17th March
    2014
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  • 12th March
    2014
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  • 10th March
    2014
  • 10

Rock/Hard Place

Here’s the scoop. If all goes as planned we are getting induced next Wednesday! I am so excited and scared at the same time.

My problem is deciding who, if anyone, to tell about it. When we were in the hospital this weekend, thinking I had preeclampsia and that we were going to induce, we let family and friends know. Holy cow. If I could do that again I would not have let everyone know. People became pushy via text and messages on FB and even told me who I needed to let know!! Seriously? Rude. So this time around I don’t want to tell everyone until after Sheila is here, but at the same time I wouldn’t mind telling a few close people. I’m just worried because that’s how it started last time. I really don’t want it to get so out of hand.

WWYD?